Sometimes it is just difficult to be a mother

A few baseball games ago,  I was setting up my chair to watch the kiddo's baseball game and what do you know, there is a crack that makes everyone turn their head and gasp. Unfortunately it was my kid who got smacked in the head with a ball and was laying on the ground. Really time does feel like it stops when such an event occurs.


I don't know why but I ran to get ice and didn't run to my kid because I knew the hubby would already be out there. I just went into this mode that I would have to be useful or I would burst out in tears and where would that get the kid other to see his mom freaking out.


Luckily on our team one of the dads is an ER physician so we was able to assess the situation and although the kid had an egg on his head it landed on the best part of the forehead to get hit so he was dazed but was fine. We sat for awhile with me holding ice on his head and trying to control myself from freaking out. The entire time I was telling myself that it is not okay to lose it because your kid is hurt. You have to be the adult and and the strong one.


But sometimes it is just so difficult not to fall apart when your kid gets hurt. Empathy for your kid can run so deep that it is still surprising to me. My kid is in the double digits and I have always felt this way. Of course it is normal to be concerned and worried when your kid is hurt but I was hoping over time I would learn to control my feelings over it better.

I guess feeling this way is better than not feeling anything but I just think it is sometimes difficult being the mom and the one who should be in control.