I want a mid-life crisis

I want to have a mid-life crisis (MLC). That's right I want one. Unfortunately I'm too scared to actually have one. When I was a young and naive I used to scoff at the idea that one could do such a thing. Laugh at the old guy in the hot rod; roll my eyes at the moms with grown children trying to to start a career; and cluck at the cougar hooking up at the bar.

But now...I get it. I get that time is flying by and missed opportunities grow more painful with age. I soooo get it that I wonder why isn't everyone entitled to explore a mid-life crisis. I mean if I feel this way now am I going to continue to feel this way with each passing year?!?!

Hmmm...but maybe it is just me. Instead of having split personalities I live in a world with two personas. There's the outward-facing one that interacts with people and driven in both life and work. There is also this other internal persona with such exhaustive dialog surrounded around thoughts, feelings, and wishes. Sometimes these two worlds collide, hence the the blog. 

So as I'm writing this it is becoming clearer to me that that clashing of these two personas is causing the need for change craving. So what's this damsel to do....what to do. I think acknowledgment is a great first step. There probably should be a 12-step program of some sort on how to handle wanting a MLC. Erma probably would have a witty way of writing that one. For now, my first step is admission and that is quite a step for now.